What astrology can tell us about celebrity cheating scandals.
This week, the internet exploded when IG model Sumner Stroh posted a TikTok alleging that she and Adam Levine had an affair. The Cliffs notes? Let’s just say, Monday went exactly like this:
Stroh’s confession led to more women coming forward, blessing the internet with screenshots so cringey that Levine’s lame pickup lines have been immortalized as memes. The “She Will Be Loved” singer took to Instagram to comment on his “inappropriate” behaviour. In his statement, Levine denied having an outright affair but admitted that he “crossed the line.” (Oh, you think telling a random woman that you’re “DEAD serious” about naming your unborn child after her maybe crosses a line?)
Now, of course, the internet girlies are shook. As this TikToker angrily reminds us, we used to call this man “hubby goals” for how he showed up and showed out for his model wife, Behati Prinsloo, when she strutted the runway. In trying to make sense of his indiscretions, social media users have started a conversation with this hot take: maybe all Pisces men are cheaters?
And yes, Hollywood’s most infamous cheater of the moment, Tristan Thompson, is definitely a part of the conversation:
Let’s unpack.
The astrology of it all: Pisces men
Pisces (February 19 – March 20) is the twelfth and final sign of the zodiac. As a mutable water sign ruled by Jupiter and Neptune, Pisces placements are associated with as many “positive” traits as “negative.” Cafe Astrology describes Pisces as a dreamy, compassionate, and tender sign that, like the symbol featuring two fish swimming in opposite directions, can come across to others as “wishy-washy.” They are defined both by deep sensitivity and self-delusion, meaning that, though they would never want to hurt somebody, they might convince themselves that their actions aren’t as bad as they seem.
But does that mean they’re all cheaters?
Some cheaters are Pisces men…
After conducting some research that could only be done by someone chronically online (you’re welcome), I’ve noticed that a handful of celebrity cheating scandals have included Pisces men. Adam Levine and Tristan Thompson aside, the TikTok above mentions Arthur Aguiar, a Brazilian actor who has been accused of cheating on his current partner at least 16 times. Aguiar released a confusing statement that “What hurt her wasn’t that I cheated, it was that I wasn’t loyal to her…” which definitely falls into the “self-delusion” category.
On top of that, Justin Bieber, born March 1st, was rumoured to have cheated on Selena Gomez during their relationship and early on in his relationship with wife Hailey. While broken up in 2016, Bieber and Gomez got into an IG fight about fan loyalty where Selena commented “Funny how the ones that cheated multiple times are pointing the finger at the ones that were forgiving and supportive.” It eventually prompted Justin to delete his IG account. Messy.
Where Hailey is concerned, Justin has been super forthcoming about his inability to commit to her early on. In an interview he said, “… she loved me and seeing me with other people hurt her.”
… but not all cheaters are Pisces men
Of course, it would be nice and neat to stop there and say “Steer clear of Pisces men, babes, they’re cheaters.” But life is rarely so simple. Even if we were just talking about celebrity cheaters, we wouldn’t be able to have that conversation without including Ben Affleck and Ime Udoka (Leos), Jay-Z (Sagittarius), Hugh Grant (Virgo), Sebastian Bear-McClard (Aquarius) and Tiger Woods (Capricorn). So, it’s pretty obvious that you can’t tell if someone’s a cheater by their Sun sign any more than you can by the colour of their hair, the car that they drive or their favourite movie (unless it’s The Wolf of Wall Street).
Astrology is a fun tool for self-reflection but that also means that, much like the Pisces, it’s often misunderstood. Pop astrology reduces us to the 30-day window within which we’re born, while the “divine mathematics” it’s based on studies the precise measurements of the planets in each unique birth chart. For most professional astrologists, even looking into someone’s Big 3 — sun, moon, and rising signs — isn’t enough, as you’ll see in these takes on Adam Levine and Tristan Thompson’s charts.
As a huge astrology advocate (peep my last astro post for FLARE), I fully believe it is a study in healing, not in harming. If you’re not deep-diving into the specifics, your commentary is kind of part of the problem. So, rather than shedding blame on the stereotypical caricature of a flighty, self-obsessed Piscean, let’s be critical of the individuals at hand, their actions and their attempts to rectify their misdeeds.
And I’m DEAD serious.
