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Drugs, alcohol, leaked photos and sex tapes, toxic relationships, an almost career-ending neck injury. Saraya-Jade Bevis could have easily been just another one of those celebrity cautionary tales, but instead somehow the WWE alum known as Paige made it to the other side. She shares her harrowing story in the memoir “Hell in Boots: Clawing My Way Through Nine Lives.”
The book’s release in March came at the end of her chapter with All Elite Wrestling. A place where the Norwich, England native won the Women’s Championship in 2023 before a record-breaking crowd of London friends, family and fans at Al In inside Wembley Stadium. It’s been quite the career for the trailblazer who became the first-ever NXT Women’s Champion and youngest WWE title holder at age 21 winning the Divas gold.
Saraya’s journey from a teen learning the ropes under her parents Knight wrestling promotion to WWE had already been captured through a doc and then a 2019 film Fighting with My Family. A project pushed through by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson with an emerging star Florence Pugh playing her.
So much has happened since then including some hard moments for the Total Divas star including having photos and footage of the wrestling star engaging in sex acts with her ex-boyfriend Brad Maddox and colleague Xavier Woods hit the internet in 2017 without her consent. However, Saraya fought through these several dark periods to emerge stronger as a result. She hopes to inspire others while also finding her true self through writing this deeply personal autobiography.
We sat down with the popular performer on reliving the trauma, tragedy and triumphs.
AEW
You look to have really found yourself, especially in the last few years. Did writing this book help with that?
Saraya-Jade Bevis: For sure. It was definitely therapeutic in a way. Getting pen to paper was definitely tedious and exhausting. At the same time, it did help me because there were a lot of things that I’m not a very open person about. I don’t like to talk about my feelings a lot and what’s happened to me in the past. I really don’t beat that drum. For me to do this, I thought to put this in a book. It was definitely intense, vulnerable as heck. I’m used to being in vulnerable positions, but it was very strange to pretty much have my diary on the internet. It is just bizarre in a wonderful way. It has been received really great, too. People seem to like it.
You’ve gotten a great response from your colleagues in the industry including those who were influential in your career like AJ Lee [Mendez]. What does it mean to have her support?
I’m very grateful and lucky I have such a bond with all the women who I have worked with over the years, especially with AJ. I talk about her in the book. She is absolutely wonderful. She is my fairy godmother. I feel really very happy to know I had such a great gaggle of women that want to freakin’ see me succeed. It’s very nice.
Usually, when a pro wrestler book comes out it can help to have a big company behind it and use their platform on television for promotion.. However, this book came out around the same time as you confirmed your exit from AEW. Tell me about having all this news hit at once.
It kind of fell into the lap at the very same time. I also have a podcast that started. All of this stuff getting announced at the same time is a lot for people to soak in. It was definitely a lot. It was overwhelming for me as well because people were texting me about it all. The exit from AEW was mutual. I want to put that out there. Tony [Khan] was great, but there really wasn’t anything left for me to do. There was Mercedes [Mone], but she already had her schtick happening. There are these storylines all planned out that I’m aware of. She has her thing. Maybe one day we’ll get in the ring together, but for now, there was no room for me there. I wanted to focus on things outside of wrestling and not take anyone’s spot or be in the way. Hopefully, down the line something comes up, and I would love to partake in it. For now, I really just want to get my feet wet outside of the wrestling business a little bit.
You have said in the past your rock bottom was right around the time the sex tape got leaked. Your identity had been defined by that for so long. Clawing your way out of this abyss was something you’ve been very open about. How hard was it for you to relive all the trauma you endured?
One of the main reasons I wanted to write the book was to tell my side of the story, which is not my side really. It’s just my story, but everyone has this perception of me or idea of who I am and all that stuff, which is none of my business what people think of me. I’m not here to change anyone’s mind either. That’s not what I set out to do. I just wanted to take control of my life a little bit. That has been the goal for me for the last six months or whatever. It’s to take control of my life and be as happy as possible. This book was a catalyst for that.
WWE
It’s crazy it has been almost a decade when you went through all that.
That is crazy, and the fact people still talk about it blows my mind. At the same time, it doesn’t hurt my feelings anymore. Whatever, I was a kid. If you get off on that kind of sh*t where you’re trying to ridicule the woman, fine, whatever. You as a person have to work on yourself at that point. At the time, I was extremely freakin’ depressed. Reliving it honestly, is therapeutic to get it out again. I don’t think it’s ever going to go away. I don’t think people will ever forget about the tape. It was such a big deal, especially at a time where we weren’t getting leaked as much as they are now. It happened, and there is nothing I can do about it. I have this motto I live by when it comes to these kinds of situations where if I can’t change it, why am I stressing? I don’t care. If that’s what you want to know me as, that’s perfectly fine. I just have to work within myself to accept that.
The focus in these situations has usually been on the woman. You really faced the brunt of it.
I did. I don’t know if it was because I’m a woman. I definitely got a lot of crap for it, and still do to this day. I made a decision when I was 19 years old. It was a silly decision, but do I regret it? No. I don’t regret anything in my life, even the awful things because it has molded me to be who I am today. I’m grateful something like that happened to me because I was tough enough to get through it, but I know the pain of it. If someone were to go through that, they might not be around to see the other side of it. I kind of want to take this book, and with multiple parts of my life including this one, to show there is another side. It is something you can get over. You can come out of the other side and be happy. There is another side. That’s all I care about.
Did you have any aha moments as you were writing that you didn’t think about until you started writing the book?
By the end of the book, I was just really proud of myself. I haven’t been super proud of myself for a long time, but putting pen to paper and reading back my story, it was like holy crap. I’m stronger than I realize. I’m so proud. You have to give yourself a pat on the back every once in a while.
You should! Looking back on Total Divas, how do you look back at that time? I suppose in retrospect it might not have been the best point in your life to have it documented on a reality show, given what we now know you were going through. At the same time, the show did a lot for women’s wrestling.
The show was huge for women’s wrestling. It was massive. At one point the ratings would top Raw or wherever it was. The ratings were amazing. We were getting this whole new brand of people who were all tuning into WWE now because of Total Divas. Again, I don’t regret anything about Total Divas. Did it come at the right time? It probably wasn’t the smartest to put this kid in a sense on the show where you’re pumping in alcohol constantly. You want to be liked. That’s how it was, but I wouldn’t have changed anything. It’s crazy to have your life on the internet, TV and all of it at such an early age. Again, I’m proud of getting through it. I didn’t enjoy my time on Total Divas. If I went back, maybe I would redo a few things. At the same time you can’t change it.
What are your thoughts on the state of women’s wrestling today and the potential of WWE doing another all-women’s PLE event Evolution? Of course, those kinds of events fans would want to see someone like yourself participate.
Honestly, I’m proud of the women today. They get to do matches I wasn’t able to do in my time. This revolution started around my time. Now they get to do these stipulation matches the guys get to do. It’s bittersweet for me because I think about how I wish I could be more involved in that, but at the same time, I’m proud of them all. They grabbed the brass ring and ran with it. They are doing amazing things. The women in all companies are absolutely killing it. I’m talking about WWE, AEW, Impact, New Japan, across the board. I’m so proud of them. It’s just going to get bigger. The Evolution pay-per-view, I don’t know why we haven’t done another one sooner. I feel like the first one was a success and people loved it and came and watched it. It was all special. I guess it makes it more special to have it spaced out. At the same time, I feel like the girls could have their version of WrestleMania if they wanted to. The girls are so powerful these days. They could do whatever they set their minds to.
You’ve done so much in your career. If or when you do come back, what do you hope to cross off your list from the last runs?
I would like to get back in the ring this year and really train and find myself again. I feel like I didn’t do that the past couple of years. I want to do the training side of things. I want to go to Nattie’s training. School and get in the ring with her. That’s my focus this year. I didn’t get to do a Royal Rumble or an Elimination Chamber or anything I didn’t get to do. Maybe down the line I will get to do them, who knows?
Paige arrives for WWE RAW at 02 Brooklyn Bowl on April 18, 2016 in London, England.
It’s amazing to have these aspirations considering your career almost ended due to a broken neck. I love that.
I know! The possibilities.
You have your new podcast “Rulebreakers” and recently had Kail Lowry from 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom 2. Who do you want to have in the future?
We’re actually bringing in Stephen Merchant. It’s not necessarily wrestling focused as we’ll talk about anything. Then they are going to get tortured in these segments and get increasingly worse. It’s going to be like the Jackass of podcasts. It’s really fun. I don’t know who is guest-wise. Anyone is welcome. I’m open to anyone who wants to come on. It has been a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. Interviewing and all these things, I love it. It makes me excited and feel challenged. I love challenges.
Speaking of Stephen Merchant, are we calling Florence Pugh again to play you in a sequel to Fighting with My Family? I feel we need a follow-up now.
I would love to. There are things flying around, so we’ll see what happens.
We talked about the landscape of women’s wrestling, but what do you think of the backstage side of that. I think about Gail Kim’s exit from TNA. It really shines a light on the importance of having women in creative and as producers.
Yeah, with Gail, what the hell was that about? It would be fun to be part of creative or produce somewhere down the line if people want my input. I’ve been in this business for a long time. I can help some kids if needed. I wouldn’t put myself in that position if I’m not wanted. Gail, I thought she was such a big voice. People all loved her. I just don’t understand that decision if I’m being honest. I don’t know the full story of it. Maybe something has changed, but wasn’t she fired?
Basically.
What? That blows my mind. Anybody smart will scoop her up to do what she was doing at Impact. She is amazing. She knows what she is doing. She is a great energy to have around. She is a good person. I don’t understand the logic. It’s not my business. I just know we need more women like her backstage and doing these things. She needs to be scooped up by somebody.
Now that the book is out, how does it feel?
I’m a little insecure. I think everyone hates me. So, to have a really positive reaction and response was amazing. It has been really great. I’m really thankful and grateful for everyone getting the book and reading it and posting about it. It has been amazing.
