‘There’s Something in the Barn’ Review

Christmas horror movies don’t come around too often, but every now and then we get gems like Black Christmas, Gremlins, Rare Exports and Krampus. Magnus Martens‘ evil elf horror comedy There’s Something in the Barn tries to hit that holiday horror comedy sweet spot that falls somewhere between Gremlins and Krampus, but misses the mark on both counts. It winds up being a forgettable, if mildly amusing, movie that doesn’t seem to know which audience it’s playing to.

After inheriting his uncle’s estate in Norway, Bill (Martin Starr), his second wife Carol (Amrita Acharia) and their children Lucas (Townes Bunner) and Nora (Zoe Winther-Hansen) move into their new home with the dream of turning the property into a bed and breakfast. The family adapts to their new Scandinavian lifestyle differently, with Bill and Carol trying to make the best of it, and the children feeling trapped by their father’s impulsive decision to uproot the family. Eventually, Lucas discovers an ancient elf (Kiran Shah) living in the adjoining barn and learns that there are three rules to keep it happy (no bright lights, no loud noises and no changes to the farm). Lucas does his best to follow them, but after Bill ignores Lucas’ warnings and plans a Christmas party in the barn, the elf plots to get rid of the intruders at any cost.

Something that often makes its way into film reviews is the “who is this for?” critique. I’ve always found this to be a particularly lazy subject to base a review around because, while the target audience may not be the critic asking the question, there’s at least one person out there who is likely to be the target audience.  That being said, I’m truly at a loss for the audience for There’s Something in the Barn. Save for a couple of uses of the word “fuck,” the first 50 minutes plays out like a PG-rated family Christmas movie, full of unimpressive attempts at humor (this is more Christmas With the Kranks than Elf).

Then the carnage starts, shutting out younger audience members who might get more of a kick out of the film we’ve seen so far. While there’s enough blood and gore to earn it an R rating, it’s still far too tame for the gorehounds that might show interest in a movie about killer elves. It also takes far too long to get to the violence, a fact that even the filmmakers seem to know because a semi-violent prologue exists solely to assure horror-loving audiences that people will start dying…eventually. To be fair: deaths do happen. They just happen to tertiary characters that swing by the farm at inopportune moments. Never for a second do you get the feeling that any member of the family is in any real danger of being killed, removing any kind of suspense that Martens tries to build up.

None of this would be too big an issue if There’s Something in the Barn were funny, but it’s not (though your mileage may vary). Jokes run from the obvious (did you know that all Norwegians think that Americans walk around with guns shooting people in the face? This joke is made twice.) to the juvenile (some of these elves really like to fart). The actors do their best with what little they have (Acharia is the best at this), but Aleksander Kirkwood Brown’s screenplay doesn’t give them a lot to work with. It’s not that the jokes are cringe-inducing. It’s just that they are, for lack of a better term, basic.

What does work in the film, however, is its heart, and that goes a long way. Despite all the forced humor and minor bloodshed, the bond between family members is at the center of There’s Something in the Barn. Yes, the story is something we’ve seen a thousand times before, but the actors sell it with a necessary sincerity in their performances. Production design is bright and colorful, making for some gorgeous holiday-themed visuals. They get even better once the blood starts flowing, especially since most of the action takes place in the snow.

This review might sound harsher than its 2.5-skull score would have you believe, but the fact is that, if not for the gore in the back half, There’s Something in the Barn would make for a perfectly serviceable holiday horror comedy for younger audiences. As it stands, it’s a movie with an identity crisis that is too violent for its seemingly intended audience and too childish for the older crowd that might be drawn in to the more chaotic antics of the back half.

There’s Something in the Barn made its world premiere at Fantastic Fest. Release info TBA.